Wow I can't believe its been a year since I posted anything. I really havent felt like letting anyone inside my head for a while... trust me you are better off having missed that little window.
The fog is lifting off my head and heart these days, and little by little I feel more me. Ugh that and my blog was depressing me even more. Hence the year long sabatical.
And off we go!
I am increasingly enjoying motherhood again. I wasnt sure there for a while if I was ever going to get that feeling back. The numbness took over me completely and I was just going through the motions. I am not saying I didn't love her, I just didnt want to be the mom. The resposibility was overwhelming and having the forced smile on my cheeks 24/7 made me feel like a crazed beauty queen who lost her vasoline. Just like the sun melted all the snow, the light has warmed my heart. I have been enjoying morning snuggles, kissing ouchies, ponytails and kool-ade mustaches. I look forward to her coming inside smelling of summer, running to embrace me and tell me how much fun she had. Its been a reconnecting with my maternal side and I am very glad for it.
Part of whats so awesome lately is watching Ryan blossom into such a beautiful, smart, funny kid. She listens to my music and just embraces it as her own. I don't know another 5 yearold who knows the words to Hall and Oates "Maneater". She cried the first time she heard "How deep is your love" by The Beegees. She loves to share, and loves every kid she sees. We recently discovered a couple of little girls living 5 seconds away. So she has spent every available moment with her new besties! They even had a sleepover lastnight. How do you not love this kid? Here's hoping we enjoy every second this summer before we begin KINDERGARTEN!!!
LOL so anyway I was just tryin to warm my blog back up and get back into the groove a little. I plan on getting back to this regularly.
